Archive of ‘Wedding Etiquette’ category

Tips about inviting guests to your wedding

facebook_ad_vintage_edited-1As a professional wedding consultant in San Antonio, I have some valuable invitation & guest  tips that every couple should know when planning their wedding.

1. When should I order my invitations? You need to allow ample time for the ordering process, mailing and guest response. Mailing them six to eight weeks before the wedding date is standard. However, if you have a lot of guests traveling from out of town or attending a destination wedding, ten to twelve weeks is best to give them time to make their travel plans.

2. Should I mail out extra invitations so I get the number of attendees I want? As a general rule, approximately 20 percent of the people you invite will be unable to attend. However, don’t be tempted to over invite too much over the venue capacity. You can always have a “B List” and send invitations out to them a few weeks prior to the wedding date if you do receive “No” responses early. Be sure to order extra invitations for this!

3. How do I handle the “no kids” or “and guest” situation? If you do not want children at the wedding that is perfectly fine. Just be sure to address the envelope with the parent’s names only. Never write “No Children” on the invitation. Also, be sure to have the “No Children” policy for everyone. You don’t want hurt feelings. For the “plus 1” situation…It is not mandatory that you have to include a date for single guests. If you address with just the guest’s name he/she may get the idea. However, they may call/email you asking if it would be ok to bring a date. That is a tough call. To avoid a confrontation you may want to go ahead and include the additional guest even though it means an extra dollar amount for you.


4. Who should I and shouldn’t I include on the guest list? This question is always one of the biggest issues couples deal with about their wedding. You should only invite those that you REALLY WANT TO BE AT YOUR WEDDING! Don’t invite guests when you know they won’t show just to say you invited them. Logically, the main part of your guest list will be filled with family and friends. One other group you should include is your boss and close coworkers. If you don’t have the budget to include coworkers, just invite your boss. You do not have to invite ALL coworkers but do so quietly and discretely. Again, you don’t want hurt feelings. Do not invite an Ex, even if you are on friendly terms. I don’t think your fiancé will appreciate that. Don’t feel obligated that you have to invite an old college friend to your wedding just because they invited you to theirs.

5. How do I handle the “B List” for inviting guests? If you have a lot more guests that you would like to invite but just don’t have it in the budget (or room in the venue) then be sure to mail out the invitations 8 weeks prior (give a little more time) and as you receive “Regrets” you can then mail out invitations from your “B List.” Be sure to order extra invitations for this at your initial ordering (it will be cheaper to add an extra 25 invitations with the first order instead of ordering separately later on).


If you have additional etiquette questions about your invitations please call or email me. I would be happy to discuss that with you. Remember, for a limited time I am offering 10% off all invitation/stationery products (excludes Disney) from my online stores and in-person.  Click here for my Carlson Craft Store (discount automatically taken) and here for my Printswell Store (enter code 10%OFFSPECIAL). If you want that one-on-one service please contact me at 210-595-9263 or for an in-person appointment.

Thank you to San Antonio Weddings for posting a blog about my invitation services!–off-invitations-755.aspx

Wedding Planning Etiquette: Using Email

I hope you liked the video I posted here last week! This week I’m returning to my series on wedding planning etiquette, looking at when it is and isn’t okay to use email in your wedding planning.

Email has made communication so much easier, and it can be a great way to keep on top of things with your weddings. However, it simply isn’t a stand in for traditional correspondence when it comes to your wedding.


Do use email to coordinate with your vendors. Oftentimes, having everyone on the same page is easier when you send out a group email.

Don’t use email to invite people to your wedding. A wedding invitation must be sent by mail, as a hard copy. This is the first impression your guests will have of your wedding, so make it beautiful!

Do use email for RSVPs. It’s still better to get RSVPs from guests in the mail, but allowing your guests to send their reply to you via email can mean less chasing as your reply date approaches.

Don’t use email to thank your guests. This is another thing that must be done by hand. A handwritten thank you note is so much more meaningful than something quickly dashed off on your iPhone!

Do use email to invite guests to your shower/bachelor party. These pre-wedding events are less formal, and an e-vite is often sufficient. Of course, a paper invitation is always better, but it isn’t required in the same way as the wedding invitation.

Remember that with anything you do by email, there will be some guests who don’t use email or don’t check it very often. It’s always better to go more formal as you plan your wedding, so when in doubt, don’t email.

To find out more about wedding planning etiquette, or to find out how I can help plan your San Antonio wedding, give me a call (210-595-9263) or get in touch through my website today!

Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays for What?

While it used to be the tradition for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding, that’s no longer the case. Figuring out who will pay for what can be an etiquette dilemma. Here’s how to approach the subject.


  • Be realistic: It’s possible to have a fabulous wedding on any size budget, and you’ll be much less stressed if you go into planning being realistic. Think about what you and your fiance can realistically spend yourselves and work within that figure.
  • Be grateful: When you announce your engagement, your families might offer to pay for specific parts of your wedding. Don’t take this for granted, and be thankful. It might mean relinquishing control over part of the planning, so decide which is more important to you — the help paying or the control.
  • When in doubt, ask: If you aren’t sure whether your family has money set aside for your big day, ask them. It’s far better to have one slightly awkward conversation before you start planning than to find yourself in huge amounts of debt because you didn’t.

Whether you’re paying for your wedding or it’s a group effort, working with a wedding planner can help you save money. To find out more about how I can help plan your San Antonio wedding, give me a call today (210-595-9263) or get in touch through my website!