Photo provided by Mint Photography
One of the first things you’ll probably think of after getting engaged is who you’re going to ask to be a bridesmaid and groomsmen, right? It can be hard to narrow down your selection. You don’t want to hurt feelings. You think about who can afford to be in my wedding. Who is the closest to me? These were all questions I thought of because I had been in several friend’s weddings prior to my own wedding but knew that I wouldn’t be able to have them in mine just for the fact of I felt like I had too many already for the size of my wedding & the cost of it. If I had it my way I would have had 10-11 girls but kept it at 7. I couldn’t even narrow down a maid or matron of honor so I ended up with one of each!
What if there are more guys or girls on one side? That is perfectly fine! As a coordinator in San Antonio, I have seen this happen time and again. The simple way of making it work is having 2 groomsmen walking with 1 girl for the recessional, for example. That’s all! No harm.
Before asking any of your wedding party you need to first sit down with your fiancé and decide on how large you want the wedding party to be. If you want a small intimate wedding then having 7-8 each would be too many. Also, it is important that you pick a church/ceremony location that will be large enough for your wedding party to either stand at the altar or sit down in the front row. I’ve done some ceremonies where we had to have 2 rows on either side because their were 10+ each.
Get creative with the way in which you ask. Wouldn’t it be fun to hand deliver a small gift with an invitation inviting them to partake in your wedding. How fun! If you had an engagement party you could ask them while there and/or announce to everyone who they were.
Your Responsibility
Even though you are not responsible for paying for the wedding party attire you still need to keep in mind other expenses that are involved.
- Their Bouquet/Boutonnierre
- Their dinner at the rehearsal and reception and possibly for their guest
- Their wedding party gift
- Transportation Expenses to the reception
Some couples, as a nice gesture, might even pay a portion of the attire cost or provide the shoes or piece of jewelry for it.
The Attire
This brings us to the attire. You will want to research styles of current trends both online and in stores. I recommend looking online first and if you see a dress you really like (and the bridesmaids like) then call around to different stores in your area and see if they carry it or something very similar. That will save a lot of time. Please limit how many girls go with you to look at dresses. Everyone has different ideas as to what looks best on them. You will never get all the girls to agree on 1 dress. If your maid of honor likes it and a couple of others that go with you….note that dress as a good possibility. It will be your final decision to make, not theirs.
The maid/matron of honor doesn’t have to wear the same dress or color as the others. I see this a lot. What about having all the girls in a different shade of pastels or have a few dress options in the same color? How about everyone picking our their own black dress, you decide on length, for an evening wedding? In a past wedding I was in she did that and it worked out great! That way all body types will look good in something. I currently have a bride that really wanted a floral design on her dresses but couldn’t find anything so she is having a seamstress make her dress. I’ve been in weddings in the past where this happened. I remember even renting my dress at a wedding I was in. This would be a great affordable way for the girls. You know how the saying goes, you wear it once and never wear it again…it is true! I’ve been in 7 weddings and never wore my dress again.
For the groomsmen, decide on how formal you are wanting to go. I’ve seen a lot of styles with the guys too. Everything from pants with white shirts and suspenders to the tux. Suits are a very common choice right now and a lot of couples are choosing this option for the men. Bow ties are coming back and at my most recent wedding the groom looked so cute with his bow tie on! Have fun with the attire!! Make a statement!
Bella Bridesmaids and Debi’s Bridal, both of San Antonio, are great places for getting bridesmaid’s dresses. If you need some guidance on how to choose your wedding party or have any other questions about coordinating please contact me. I would love to help you! Trudy Scott, Royalty Events Planning, 210-595-9263 or Trudy@RoyaltyEventsPlanning.com.