Posts Tagged ‘wedding guests’

Tips about inviting guests to your wedding

facebook_ad_vintage_edited-1As a professional wedding consultant in San Antonio, I have some valuable invitation & guest  tips that every couple should know when planning their wedding.

1. When should I order my invitations? You need to allow ample time for the ordering process, mailing and guest response. Mailing them six to eight weeks before the wedding date is standard. However, if you have a lot of guests traveling from out of town or attending a destination wedding, ten to twelve weeks is best to give them time to make their travel plans.

2. Should I mail out extra invitations so I get the number of attendees I want? As a general rule, approximately 20 percent of the people you invite will be unable to attend. However, don’t be tempted to over invite too much over the venue capacity. You can always have a “B List” and send invitations out to them a few weeks prior to the wedding date if you do receive “No” responses early. Be sure to order extra invitations for this!

3. How do I handle the “no kids” or “and guest” situation? If you do not want children at the wedding that is perfectly fine. Just be sure to address the envelope with the parent’s names only. Never write “No Children” on the invitation. Also, be sure to have the “No Children” policy for everyone. You don’t want hurt feelings. For the “plus 1” situation…It is not mandatory that you have to include a date for single guests. If you address with just the guest’s name he/she may get the idea. However, they may call/email you asking if it would be ok to bring a date. That is a tough call. To avoid a confrontation you may want to go ahead and include the additional guest even though it means an extra dollar amount for you.

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4. Who should I and shouldn’t I include on the guest list? This question is always one of the biggest issues couples deal with about their wedding. You should only invite those that you REALLY WANT TO BE AT YOUR WEDDING! Don’t invite guests when you know they won’t show just to say you invited them. Logically, the main part of your guest list will be filled with family and friends. One other group you should include is your boss and close coworkers. If you don’t have the budget to include coworkers, just invite your boss. You do not have to invite ALL coworkers but do so quietly and discretely. Again, you don’t want hurt feelings. Do not invite an Ex, even if you are on friendly terms. I don’t think your fiancé will appreciate that. Don’t feel obligated that you have to invite an old college friend to your wedding just because they invited you to theirs.

5. How do I handle the “B List” for inviting guests? If you have a lot more guests that you would like to invite but just don’t have it in the budget (or room in the venue) then be sure to mail out the invitations 8 weeks prior (give a little more time) and as you receive “Regrets” you can then mail out invitations from your “B List.” Be sure to order extra invitations for this at your initial ordering (it will be cheaper to add an extra 25 invitations with the first order instead of ordering separately later on).

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If you have additional etiquette questions about your invitations please call or email me. I would be happy to discuss that with you. Remember, for a limited time I am offering 10% off all invitation/stationery products (excludes Disney) from my online stores and in-person.  Click here for my Carlson Craft Store (discount automatically taken) and here for my Printswell Store (enter code 10%OFFSPECIAL). If you want that one-on-one service please contact me at 210-595-9263 or info@royaltyeventparties.com for an in-person appointment.

Thank you to San Antonio Weddings for posting a blog about my invitation services! http://blog.sanantonioweddings.com/2014/9/10-15–off-invitations-755.aspx

Wedding Planning Etiquette: The Invitations

Planning your wedding is full of etiquette questions. This week I’m taking a look at the questions that come up in regards to invitations.

After you’ve created your guest list, you’ll need to let them know you want them at your wedding. While you might be excited to let everyone know about your big day, you should wait until six to eight weeks before your wedding to send out the actual invitations. If you want to send something out earlier, consider save the date cards.

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Your invitation choice should reflect the style of your wedding, as they will give guests a hint about what they can expect on the big day. The invitations should also provide them with all the information they need to attend your wedding. This includes the basics, like date and location, but also details such as places to stay and dress code.

If you are planning a wedding website, use it to provide additional or non-essential information. Remember that many older family members won’t be comfortable finding everything out online. This is why it’s so important to have the vital details in the paper invitation.

Your invitations are a special piece of stationery, and your guests will be honored to receive them. To find out more about how to handle the etiquette of your invitations, or for help planning your San Antonio wedding, give me a call (210-595-9263) or contact me online.

Wedding Planning Etiquette: The Guest List

As you plan your wedding, you’ll come up against all sorts of etiquette questions. From who to invite to how to invite them, I’ll be tackling the most common dilemmas over the coming weeks. This week, I’m taking a look at guest lists.

Creating your guest list is something you’ll need to do early, and can be a huge struggle. First off, find out how many guests you can invite. This can be determined by the budget and your venue’s capacity.

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It can be helpful to write down a big list of possible invitees, then put them into A, B, and C lists. The A list should be close family and best friends who are must-invites. The B list is your close friends and more distant family. The C list should include co-workers and others who you could cut from the guest list more easily.

At the end of the day, your guest list should be the people you most want to spend your wedding day with. If you and your fiance disagree about the guest list, talk about why you want to invite (or don’t want to invite) a particular person. In general, you shouldn’t invite any exes, or anyone who will make either of you uncomfortable.

If you’re planning an intimate wedding, be ready to explain this to friends who might feel slighted, but don’t give out invitations to anyone you don’t want to be there! If you do want more people than you can really afford, consider offering invitations to the evening celebration, where guests can pay for their own drinks.

For more advice about creating your guest list, give me a call today (212-595-9263) or contact me through my website.

Check back next week for my advice about invitations, including how to handle plus ones and kids!

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5 Things Your Guests Won’t Tell You

This week, we’re featuring a fantastic guest post by Alan Berg about what your wedding guests won’t tell you. Alan Berg has over 20 years of experience in the wedding industry and has authored three books, “If your website was an employee, would you fire it?,” “Don’t Paint The House” and “Your Attitude for Success.” Learn more at http://www.alanberg.com

My own tip to add to this is that your guests don’t know that you HATE line dances and told the DJ to stay away from them. They think your DJ is lame and doesn’t know the good songs to play at a wedding! Brides, think about your guests, too! Don’t you want them on the dance floor having fun?

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I remember hearing Colin Cowie speak to a group of Wedding Planners in NYC. He said that he tells his couples (who are spending millions on their weddings) that it’s not really their wedding. It’s their first chance, as a married couple, to host a party for their friends and family. That surprised me as we always think of weddings as being for and about the couple. The ceremony is definitely for and about the couple. The party that follows is a celebration of that marriage, with your closest family and friends.

If you accept that perspective, what would you do differently? If you’ve been a guest at one, or more weddings, what would you have liked to have told the newly married couple, but you couldn’t (or you and other guests just told each other, quietly at the table or afterwards)? Here are 5 things that your guests won’t tell you (unless they’re brutally honest or blunt).

  1. Your guests won’t thank you for making your Mom, sister, best friend or maid of honor work on your wedding day. They’re not wedding planners, they’re your closest family and friends. Let them mingle, dance and enjoy the day.
  2. Your guests won’t thank you for making them wait while you take pictures. Sure, they’ll eat, they’ll drink, but if it takes too long they’ll start wondering where you are. They were invited to celebrate with you.
  3. Your guests won’t tell you that you put way too many things on your wedding registry. Make it easy for them to buy you the things that you really want. It’s hard for guests to know which things you really want (like a beautiful honeymoon, fire pit or down payment on a house), when there are 250 items on there. Give them the option to contribute dollars towards your registry so you can choose how to use it. Also, understand that a gift should not be required. You invited them to share your wedding day, not to necessarily have to pay for the privilege. If they want to give a gift, make it easy.
  4. Your guests want to see, and hear your ceremony. Ask them to stay in their seats so everyone else can see. If you’ve hired professional photographer and videographer (real, experienced pros), and you share the photos with them (easy enough to do with online proofing these days), they’ll all be able to see and hear you taking your vows. Have someone ask everyone to turn off their ringers as well. You don’t want to hear a phone ringing on your wedding video. Everyone has a camera phone, but that doesn’t make them professionals. Don’t let them get in the way of the pros You’re investing good money in professional photos, let them do their job and they share it with your guests.
  5. Your guests won’t thank you for hiring the cheapest wedding vendors. They don’t care how much you paid, they only care about the end result that they see. An iPod is not a DJ. Your uncle is not a professional videographer and won’t know where to stand to not be in everyone’s way. That Craig’s List vendor you hired is cheap for a reason. Don’t hire cheap. Hire the best value, and that often means spending more. Just follow your priorities and invest in them. You won’t be happy when the photos aren’t what you wanted or the dance floor is empty.

What I’m trying to say here is that you know what it’s like to be a guest at a wedding, just try to remember that when making your choices. If it’s summer time, make sure there’s shade for your outdoor ceremony. Make sure there’s air conditioning. Don’t just pray that it won’t rain, or won’t be 110 degrees… have a real plan for it. Put yourself in the shoes of your 100, 200 or more guests and have them raving to you about how great everything was. You don’t always get kudos for doing it right, but you almost always lose points for doing it wrong. I wish you, and your guests, a very happy wedding.

This copyrighted article was written by Alan Berg, professional speaker, author and business consultant – North America’s Leading Expert on the Business of Weddings & Events, and published in Beautiful Bride Magazine. To find out more about Alan Berg visit http://www.AlanBerg.com © 2013 Alan Berg